I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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