saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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