so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
