if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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