My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
