I'm so fucking centered right now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
