I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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