I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
