Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Mom said you looked used
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just want nice things and good sex
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
