I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
