you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
