i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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