i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
