it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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