why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
