and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
