There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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