Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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