That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
