He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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