I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
