thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
