Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I came so hard my ears popped.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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