Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
