I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
