Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
