I am puke
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize