Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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