Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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