Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I need to sanitize my soul.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
