8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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