Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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