And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
