How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
