Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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