I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
