Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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