Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
