My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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