I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
