you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize