Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
