do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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