you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
