belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
