Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize