Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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