Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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