planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
