Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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