Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
