I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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