So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
