She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In America we eat man semen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
