she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
