i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
