I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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