There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
