I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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