If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
