im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
