Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I cockslap morals
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
