How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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