Me. At least after what I've been through.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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